Reasons for a guy to love 50 Shades of Grey

1. Single Minded Attention

Christian is supremely single minded when it comes to Anastasia. He’s focused on her, and only her.

He doesn’t squander his attention or sexual energy on other women in any way. If there is a gorgeous woman within sight, he doesn’t take his eyes off of Anastasia for a sec. 

Christian wants Anastasia, and he is clear in his intent.

2. Unapologetic Sexual Desire

Christian unapologetically craves Anastasia. He is a calm, controlled man with a healthy relationship to his sexuality and he finds Anastasia absolutely captivating. He lusts after her like most women have never experienced in real life.

It’s an aphrodisiac to feel someone’s eyes on you from across the room (something that she does several times throughout the trilogy).

Christian is always in control of his sexual desire, but just barely. It is the line that he walks between being in control of his sexual beast, and her alllllmost making him lose control of himself that she finds so erotic.

3. Driven

It’s not the fact that Christian has billions of dollars or a chiseled torso that women find attractive so much what those things say about him as a person. The external markers of success and health speak to his unrelenting drive and passion for what he does in his life.

It’s not that he has strong muscles, it’s the fact that he has a strong enough of a mind to have earned those muscles. And it is much the same in real life. Most women aren’t attracted to rich men because they have lots of money as much as they’re attracted to those kinds of men because those men are self-aware, driven, and actually care enough about something in their lives that they want to chase it down and conquer it.

4. Love and affection

If he was only ever sexually aggressive with her then it would get old fast. Predictability is death to sexual passion. It would be like if someone learned how to play one chord on a guitar and then only played that one chord over and over again (whereas knowing just four or five chords enables you to play entire songs that are much more emotionally engaging). Christian is the opposite of someone who knows how to play one chord. In fact, he is described as “mercurial” 17 times in the trilogy.

When Christian isn’t tying up/spanking/flogging Anastasia, he frequently holds her, caresses her, adores her, and kisses her on the forehead. He is strong, and soft. Aggressive and sweet. He is all things in an ever-changing hurricane of masculine energy.

Action steps: love and compliment your woman. Be sweet to her when she’s sick, grumpy, or having a rough day. Kiss her on the forehead, play with her hair, make dinner for her. Be a good partner.

5. Decisive

Christian knows who he is and what he wants out of life… so when he decides that he WANTS Anastasia… it actually means something. Most guys choose a woman because they choose him first or simply because of how they look.

Christian has standards. He has insanely strict standards in fact. He orders a simple gin and tonic with about 30 hyper detailed words of specificity. The man knows himself. So his decisions mean something. He does not have low standards in any area of his life.

Action steps: make firm decisions. Stop settling when it comes to matters of your integrity. Feel passionate about something and let it show. Don’t be afraid to lead your dates. Proactively communicate to your partner things that they can do to make you even happier, and strive to do the same for them.

6. Intentionality

Christian is always in control of himself. He is super capable because he decided early on in life to regularly invest time and effort into developing a wide range of abilities. Simply put, he is hyper intentional about his life. He believes in self-mastery and is always looking for ways to challenge himself and improve as a person.

Action steps: live your life on purpose. Commit to growing as a person every single day. Challenge your comfort zones by traveling as often as possible and taking on new skills.

7. Willingness To Be Vulnerable

Christian has a mean history of trauma and abuse in his early life. It’s part of what drove him to succeed to the extent that he did. And one of the most endearing qualities of Christian as a character is that he slowly lets Anastasia into his emotional world and he lets her help heal his emotional wounds.

Modern men are raised with such a shamed mentality around their emotions.

Boys don’t cry. Never let ‘em see you sweat. Feel less, achieve more, don’t complain about anything. 

Because of socially conditioned ideas like these being hammered into us, we also tend to intuit the lesson that women will lose attraction to us if we ever DO let them see us sweat/suffer/have a moment of “weakness”.

In reality, a quality woman will genuinely want to be let into your emotional world. She knows that you have some cracks in your proverbial armour because everyone has emotional wounds in their past to be worked through. Holding her back from letting her see you is like repeatedly denying her something she desperately longs for. She wants to be let in. And not to judge you or think any less of you… but to help heal your heart with her feminine nurturing and love.

While Christian doesn’t dump his past and heavy emotional baggage on Anastasia upon first meeting her (as he shouldn’t), he slowly lets her know more about him as he grows to trust her more through their relationship. This is the essence of healthy, high-functioning boundaries… he lets her in because he trusts her, and women (like all people) want to feel like they are trusted.

Action steps: let your partner see you. Don’t be afraid to share your secrets with people you trust. Let your lover in to your world and trust that they have your best interest at heart.

Better Malaysia? Maximize Our Moderation.

Moderation is best defined the avoidance of excess or extremes, especially in one’s behavior or political opinions. The word is so “heavy” that I think not enough importance is placed on its meaning when it is defined.

Even after more than five decades of gaining independence, we are still lagging behind in so many areas. What we should have had after all these years is love and acceptance of each other, with all of us having lived under one roof, which in this case, being Malaysia, we have become more divided.

We are unable to accept and respect each other’s beliefs and, in fact, destroyed all our “basic family values”, which should have grown from strength to strength. Why are we not living as one big united family? What went wrong? Have we stopped loving our country or are we thriving on our own personal beliefs, and distrusting everyone, except ourselves? How did this uncaring attitude, distrust, lack of equality, disrespect for each other come about?

Answer: Extremism!

Obviously, there are many among us who are saddened by all this. These moderates who have continuously believed that Malaysia without extremism is the place and the country to live in. Strangely enough, their voices are not loud enough and not much publicity or coverage is given to this in our society. The extremists have clearly become so loud and deafening, so much so it is like they are “our new leaders” and are eagerly waiting, on the sidelines, to disrupt our peace-loving nation. These extremists are just ”attention seekers”, creating disruption and going all-out to take away what our forefathers have fought so hard to achieve 57 years ago.

Extremism has no place and should never be allowed in a diverse nation like Malaysia.

Moderation has to be practiced more in our beloved nation in every way possible to defeat extremism completely.

Let’s hail the moderates and let us live up to our 57th National Day theme: Malaysia where love grows!
May our children be blessed with what being Malaysian truly is.

May Your 2015 be SUPER!

Dear readers,

 First of all we would like to wish you a HAPPY NEW YEAR, may this 2015 be filled with

success and prosperity! 

One thing that I observe in 2014 that we need to give serious consideration in 2015 is HEALTH! It's very important to take care of your health as you may have everything you wanted in life but without health there's no point in it. Not only yours but to those around you; parents, relatives, friends and neighbors. Sad to say Malaysians don't really give enough importance to health compared to other countries. Look for the statistics its saddening. Losing a loved one is not easy!
So the below are a few things to do keep you health at check:-

A BLOOD test is one of the ways to check and monitor your health. You can check your cholesterol or blood sugar level before your condition gets worst. Don’t wait for a stroke or unhealed ulcer as it may be too traumatic for you.

Check your eye pressure yearly to monitor if your eye pressure is normal. High occular pressure is more common when we get older and it is one of the reasons the elderly become blind.

Bone density checks can be done yearly to detect osteoporosis so that remedial action can be taken rather than wait for a fracture.

Have mammograms to detect early breast cancer which is more common among older women.

Today hiring a foreign maid is very expensive and children have no time for their parents if they need long-term care. Therefore, living a healthy lifestyle with an annual check-up is a wise move that ensures an independent and healthy life.

Have a blessed year! Take care. 

Boycott; who gets the “hit”?

It is with my deepest regret and grief over the Israel and Palestine conflict and the suffering and pain our brothers and sisters are going through there, I’m moved to write this article. I’m a Hindu by birth but a Malaysian by heart and a human by virtue. I can’t tolerate the unlawful killing of any other human.

At first I was reluctant to write or comment over this whole boycott plan as I worry it might invoke the sensitivity of my fellow Islam friends but when I saw this statement over the internet and as personal messages to me :-

 “Jumaat ni diorg nak buat Hari Tanpa Mcd Malaysia. Dalam masa 24jam, takde siapa makan mcd. Bgtau kawan2.. Nnti ade yg tak tahu pulak. Satu Malaysia boycott mcd hari jumaat ni. Malayu cina india semua agama boycott. Kemanusiaan.. Sebarkan yer..”

I understood that the idea of the boycott is means to be “us”, Malaysians as one whole family which means I have every right to comment on.

I’m not sure if this boycott is a genuine plan or propaganda/manipulative moves by irresponsible parties making use of this hard times for personal gain but I observe that the internet society has taken this seriously! I see netizen’s making banners, poster in preparation for this boycott.

Who are we cheating here actually? This whole boycott propaganda, who is going to suffer as a result of it? You mean to say the Israel? Don’t misuse the grief and anger of my fellow naive netizens over the suffering of the people affected by the war in Palestine. When I say “hit”, I’m referring to the ‘impact’ of the boycott.

 This boycott would leave a greater impact to the Malaysian working with the corporations you intend to bring down compared to the impact it would leave on the war. Easy way for all this corporations to stop making loss without impact to their shares in the stock market is to reduce workers salary, allowance or in worse case termination of employment.

In my view this an unnecessary move which is utter waste of time and resources. Like me, I’m sure many out there are disgruntled of the happening in Gaza but this boycott is not a solution. The “hit”-impact of the boycott is on us, fellow Malaysians working with corporations alleged to be part of funding to the war. There and many other ways to help the GAZA. Please go make donations from genuine sources provided on the capacity that you can afford. Ask me to march or give a memorandum to the relevant department or embassy; I’ll definitely do.

I’ve seen boycott and protest over this war conflict in Malaysia, it’s a joke for them! Most of the participants don’t even know much of the reasons of their boycott act. They join this protest for cheap fame, taking “selfies”, posting photos on social networks and making unnecessary troubles and remarks which are much uncalled for.

Having said all that, I urge fellow Malaysia to show your support to end the war in Gaza by proper means and not participating in illegal assemblies and uncalled-for boycotts which has no proper evidence to prove their alleged funding for the war.